Anger and arguments are normal parts of healthy relationships. However, anger that leads to violence such as hitting, hurting, or threatening, is not normal, or healthy. Physical, verbal, or sexual abuse is not an acceptable part of any relationship. Violent behavior often begins with relatively minor incidents or threats, but over time can become more serious, involving physical harm.
Domestic violence may not only be between husband and wife, but also live-in partners, dating relationships, family members. Elder and child abuse may also be present in the home. Many people believe domestic violence is not due to the abuser's loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over the spouse, partner or other.
There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic violence. Those who are battered, and those who abuse, come in all personality types. It is said that battered women are always passive with low self-esteem, but this is not true. Batterers are not always violent or hateful to their partners in front of others. Most people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at home.
If you are looking for domestic violence, look for bruises and injuries. The victim usually covers up the bruises due to fear and embarrassment. Therefore, the victim may call in sick to work or school. If it happens frequently the victim begins to give excuses, blame themselves for the injury. They will avoid telling the truth unless they fill the person can be trusted. Look for personality changes from being outgoing to becoming withdrawn, shy or not talk at all. The victim may be afraid that they do not give the accuser everything he/she wants.
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